the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
