I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
