babies were throwing up all over the place
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
