hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
