I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She said her name was "party"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
