Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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