I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
