There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dicks are not precious.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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