He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
