How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
