I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
