Fuck appropriateness.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
