they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
