This girl is more easily done than said...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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