And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
