u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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