So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just found a bag of teeth...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize