id be glad to
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
