youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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