she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
