I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Found your dick twin last night
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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