so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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