Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize