True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
