I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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