You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
