this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Your dad touched me again.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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