i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
