may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
