Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
