i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
