My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
is this the sara with the beer cane?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
