too bad you live with your parents still
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
