You can't motorboat a personality
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Randomize