im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
