Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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