He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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