Dual....:-)
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize