i just wanna soil my oats bro
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
