Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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