That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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