And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
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