respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
