when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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