Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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