My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
