I am puke
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
