Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
