we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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