A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
