The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
