worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
