Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
