i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
