morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
