We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
