im drinking this country out of the recession.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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