Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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