remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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