There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize