Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
