Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
