So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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