so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
