Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
This baby is an asshole
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
