did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
