JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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