in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
