he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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